Gratitude

It's almost astonishing to believe that a resident selfish,spoiled brat like myself actually has sentimental moments of reflection that leave me absolutely speechless in gratitude. Of course, I never get there in a genuinely warm hearted way, sigh.

Here's how the story goes: a month ago, I fell head over heels IN LOVE. Swept off my feet, straight seventh heaven , love at first sight nonsense. That's right fella's, Mimi got an iPhone 4s. *swoon*

In describing my love for this devise, I may have said that now that I own an iPhone, I feel like before (with all of my other phones) I was like one of those starving Ethiopian children on the infomercials that I can't watch without sobbing uncontrollably and now I'm feasting on the most gourmet, devine foods.

Apparently, that made me an asshole. I was not making light of the starvation of anyone, I'll admit that being hungry is an agonizing feeling and that's just how I feel in the morning *sigh*


I will always remember my high school history teacher,Mr. Tyner, collecting toys for the children's hospital at Christmas time. The same hospital that would save my oldest sons life when he was three months old. Mr. Tyner taught us that you give for the feeling you get inside, not the recognition you get from those observing. I've never forgotten those words. At the time, I worked after school at a petstore, usually wasting my cash on movies,bowling and cassette tapes but that week, I spent my entire check on barbies, hotwheels and art supplies. After school, I carted my purchases up to his classroom and deposited them amongst all the other gifts that he would take to these miniature humans stuck in a hospital on Christmas.

That moment, that feeling, I still have when I donate time or money. You can't help every cause or every event but if you do what you can, it's magical.

You can volunteer at a pet rescue, help transport fur babies to their new homes or sponsor a pet still searching for their family. It's hard to choose your charity but follow your heart and you will realize, it's more rewarding than any material item you may acquire.

Pugarazzi

In pure Mimi fashion, I harass my children and flat faces with less than Kodak quality photographic assault. It's what I do. These are a few of my favorites from the past week or so :)

UNTRUSTABLES! I Blame Laura!!

I recently discovered that I'm not quite the perfect pug mom. Truly, I thought I was golden, after all....pugs don't repeat the foul language that flies out of Mom's mouth at a speed that would rival a cheetah on Red Bull. However, after pugsitting my flat faced pug nephews Salinger and Toby Stripey nose, I felt inadequate at best.

Allow me to tell you about my darling Laura. To know her is to live the ahit out of someone and know that only this other person will make you a fucking gift basket when you spend the night! Martha Stewart has *nothing* on her! She is impeccable in the kitchen, the perfect hostess and has the most giving heart in the entire world. Um, if she's reading this she knows I'm secretly calling her a DOOSHBAG out of sheer love and adoration for her. We can have full conversations at length using only profanity. Seriously,without an ounce of sarcasm, I do aspire to be more like her. Truth.

That being said, she's also a magnificent pug Mommie. She makes her boys scrambled eggs in the morning, yummy homemade food with their kibble at lunch and dinner and devine homemade treats. While feeding my curly tailed nephews, I realized that this level of momminess *might* be attainable for my crew of untrustables!

I've started making them scrambled eggs in the morning and for this, they adore me more. After ONE meager attempt at lopsided and hideous looking homemade treats, they appreciated my effort and gobbled them up.

With my momentum growing, I was determined to try again. I even bought cookie cutters. *sigh*

With flour in the kitchen, my lovely Bella climbed up Sophie's stool, knocked the flour over and proceeded to silently signal to her cohorts that shenanigans were now available to be had.

Mimi The Great was unaware until Trudy walked into the bedroom, hopped on my king sized hug from Jesus and looked up at me with innocence in her eyes and flour covering her mother f*cling face. Oy flippin vey dudes. Once she made her entrance, the other three felt pretty dayum confident in making their presences known. Flour faces and all.

This is kinda a sign to me that I deserve people to do this nonsense for me. Wouldn't you agree??

I'll confess

I'm not a gardener. In fact, I'm the antithesis of a gardener. My favorite pug rescue has a Flower Power fundraiser and me, in my typical deluded fashion thought to myself,"who says you can't plant a garden!"

I'll admit, this was after a RedBull or two so I was clearly over zealous in this thought process. Feeling all holy and charitable, I *almost* couldn't wait for these magical blossoms to arrive. Well, Fed Ex arrived and my ego was still fairly balls to the wall. I borrowed a shovel and changed into a tank top,jeans and Vera Wang sandals and the nonsensical belief that I had this shit under control. Seriously, if 80 year old women do this for fun, surely I can too. Right?

W R O N G

I went outside with shovel in hand and realized quickly I'd have to perform manual labor. While I excel at so much in day to day life, I will never accept that I'm capable of manual labor. Bribing myself with wine, I dug *A* hole. Good gawd, this is taxing and I'm parched....where's the wine?

I dug one more small hole, this dumb ass shovel flipped back and got dirt all over my mother effin Vera Wang sandal and I look down just in time to see a gdayum worm and a scary as hell centipede. Um, f*ck this noise. Do I appear to you like I require a garden to fulfill some whimsical dream? Why no, no I do not.

Suddenly my detailed dreams of a tiny "pug garden" are dashed in my vain attempt to stay dirt free. All the while, my flat faced crew of untrustables stand at the door and watch, toss each others salad and lick the damn window.

Long story short, these magical flowers are planted, I'm slightly dirty and super thirsty for a multitude of alcoholic beverages. Please don't expect some flowing garden of sweet scented loveliness, at best I'll spray you with febreeze just before you walk outside,deal?

NOH8 Pug Style

In Mimiland, most matters are not taken seriously. Most often, they are quite nonsensical to me. Two things that matter immensely to me are equality for *everyone* and my sweet flat faced, curly tailed pugs. Eight days ago, I was fortunate enough to combine these two passions of mine and attend a NOH8 photo shoot with an amazing group of "pug people" that I will now refer to as family!

A few of us gathered at The Living Room Lounge for lunch on the patio! Little Gus Gus was my date for the day and was such a well behaved little bit! I was immediately welcomed with a big hug from the most lovely Cindy, Jess and Vikki! These are my Indy gals! Cindy is the Mommie to Ellie and Brutus and Jess has the sweet Mia. Vikki has an entire crew of babies but Romeo melts my heart. After much anticipation, I FINALLY got to meet Sarah and my newest gay husband Jay!

Sarah and Jay are from Tennessee but made the drive to Indiana with Jay's precious little Charlie, she reminds me so much of my Bella at 6 months old! I knew I was going to adore Sarah right away and I did! She is so funny and her accent just makes me smile! Jay on the other hand....it was MARRIAGE AT FIRST SIGHT! He is my heterosexually challenged husband and I'm his homosexually challenged wife!

Of course, between Jay and I, it was pretty fortunate that we were seated alone on the patio, otherwise I am rather sure our language and topic matter would've created an uprising among the publicly proper type and we would've been asked to leave....not before our photos were taken and posted on the door under a DO NOT ENTER SIGN! BWahaha!

After lunch, we headed to Vikki's to pick up Charlie, Vikki's Bella and Romeo and go to the ultra fabulous Laura's house for a little mixer she put together! Laura made little cupcakes for the pugs and human cupcakes too along with cocktails to keep us hydrated! Toby and Salinger met Charlie and Gus Gus and played with Luna,Ellie,Brutus and Mia. Everyone had so much fun and we all dreaded leaving ! Laura is always the perfect hostess!

With everyone ready,dressed in white shirts (some of us wearing spanx *cough* JAY *cough*) we drove to the NOH8 photoshoot in complete excitement. Once we arrived, we filled out out paperwork and received our NOH8 tattoos on our cheeks and waited jn line for our group shot! Six of us and seven pugs!

Once moved up in line, duct tape was placed on our mouths. This was excruciating because me being quiet under any circumstance is damn near impossible....duct tape on the mouth and Hines Ward isn't involved and shirtless? Um, no. We did our group shot with our flat faces first, then our individual shots, Gus Gus in mine, where he didn't even bother to wake up! It'll be a few weeks before we receive our photos but I know they'll be stellar!

It truly felt amazing to see so many people of all races,ages and orientation come together to support silica an amazing cause. I was overwhelmed with pride for knowing such an outstanding group of people that I love with all of my heart!

Completely Devastated

Watch "Hines Ward Retires A Steeler" on YouTube

Today is the day I've dreaded, a day that I hoped would never come. I distinctly remember standing in Target, mid shopping trip and receiving an alert that Hines Ward had been released from The Pittsburgh Steelers. The news literally took my breath away, then the tears started. Oy vey. I cried in flippin Target. Truth.

I made my decision, I would support Hines *ANYWHERE* he went. I was/am so angry and disenchanted that the team and organization that Hines gave his heart and soul for just tossed him aside. He dedicated his life,his passion and everything he had to leading The Steelers when no one else could and *this* is how they treat him? I'm still bitter.

I had come to terms with the fact that my new Ward jersey would have different colors but what was important was that he still had my support and I could cheer for him during the games. That, I could live with.

I sincerely hope the Steelers learned the true meaning of LOYALTY and CLASS today from the man that they cast aside. A man that they would be nothing without, a man that was willing to do ANYTHING to stay with the team that he would do anything for.

The love, respect and appreciation for the team and his fans came before his personal desire to continue his professional career. Today, Hines Ward announced his retirement through tears, retiring as a Pittsburgh Steeler.

*sigh*

I tried not to cry but that only made my tears fall faster. I'm so sad, crushed, utterly devastated. I know logically, it is a good ending. He is retiring with the only team he has known and loved. He is giving his fans the best possible thing that he knows how but I'm just destroyed.

I'm so thankful for all he has given of himself. Football Sundays just won't be the same without his hot ass or his insane smile.

Politics,Religion and My Mother

*sipping wine*

Think back a few months ago and you will remember when my mother "unfriended" me on Facebook. Oy vey. Yes fella's, THAT happened. In a nutshell, I requested that my posts not turn into a brutal political debate that will inevitability turn ugly, my mother said her voice won't be silenced, blah blah blah *snore*

My mom is a Catholic, right wing kinda lady. I'm the polar fucking opposite. Not religious at all and not republican AT ALL. AT EFFIN ALL.

I will admit that it hurt my feelings but it also amused me greatly that I'm being the more mature one in this matter. Me! Mature! Bwahaha!

Suffice it to say, I do try to avoid political and religious discussions with her but if I'm forced to respond to her shenanigans, I do keep booze on hand.

I realize that is the wrong way to handle these matters but dammit,I'm right and I'm going to say what I think. I never resort to name calling or insults,she does...it eggs me on. I admit,not the right way to handle it.

Most recently, I posted this status on Facebook: "Whenever I find myself in the midst of a pickle,I ask myself,'What would Michele Bachmann do?'  Then I realize that even my worst decision couldn't be as ignorant and moronic as her very best idea on her very best day . It's a win/win. You could also replace Bachmann with Santorum, you are welcome.

Keep in mind, she is no longer my Facebook friend and has no access to my page. With me? We have a mutual friend that shall remain nameless, he knows who he is. He enjoys causing a ruckus amongst us because it is funny....even I admit that. This wise ass sends her a screen cap of my status and HOLY MUTHA OF GAWD, MOMZILLA ENACTS THE TEXT WAR OF 2012! And I saved that shit!!

Momzilla: "Are you a fucking retard or are you just looking like it for you pretend (Facebook) friends."

Word for word people, word for word.

Me: Nope, all true.

Momzilla: Oh pecangroup is your source? How fucking pathetic is RHAT!

(I'm not correcting spelling errors)

Me: Oy vey! You can't unfriend me again, I'm already unfriended!

Momzilla: For very good reason. People who don't know what the fuck they are taking about shouldn't fucking talk. You are a progressive socialist candy ass wanting everyone to conform to you and your barack Obama agenda and it is sickening.

Me: Just because someone disagrees with you, doesn't make them "fucking stupid". I would think that you would appreciate that you raised me to believe what I believe in and stand by it and I do.

Momzilla: No politics on your wall. Remember? Oh wait. Jus no CONSERVATIVE politics. Well fine. Kumbaya and let's all read Lenin and Marx and wait for our cattle car to arrive to take us to our new home.

Me: Okie dokie. You aren't supposed to be on my wall, remember? Besides, you can have views without personal attacks of your daughter.

Momzilla: No I can't. Personal views are only as valuable as their source and appears to me all your kumbaya 99-er friends are not worth a piss because they have no clue what they are talking about. So. Whatever.

Me: That's your choice. Anyone that doesn't agree with you is not worthy. Got it, logged it away.

Momzilla: Be careful whose side you choose. Real friends or pretend Internet friends. Real people or outlines of characters.

Me: I personally find it astounding you'd support anyone that you would choose a "leader" that refers to your son and son in law in such horrible ways but ya know, your choice.

I believe what I believe and I say how I feel.

(Yeah, my spellcheck failed me too.)

Momzilla: You are SO full of crap. No one said anyone is horrible. If you are talking about homosexual crap. All religions believe it is a sin. So is ANY sex outside marriage. Masterbation is also a sin. But master actors aren't seeking to change the constitution. What is wrong is wrong. You can twist it and tur n it anyway you like but it is what it is. Because it is a sin, it no worse a sun than any other and since we are all sinners no one is any worse off tha n anyone else. Just some ask forgiveness and others dont. Because you have activist crazy gays on you pretend friends list doesn't make it any more right or correct.

Me: If your intention was.to force me to drink or make me analyze how I ended up so insanely awesome with such a crazy, right wing, close minded mother, than you have succeeded. Furthermore, your opinion is so insignificant due to its childish tone, asinine thoughts and lack of pictures. It is clear that I am right, you are wrong.

Mad Momzilla: You HAppy peeps keep your messiah Barack in office to keep all of us outdated people that finance everything in line and see how long they all survive when the people paying for everything are GONE. GOOD LUCK.

That was the end of the text battle. HOWEVER, shortly thereafter we shared margarita's and got into religion. Ah, Fuck me. Turns out, my mom thinks that you cannot be a moral person if you don't believe in God. I disagree. That led to an hour and a half of nonsense that I did capture on audio but cannot figure out how to post.

In any event, I said all of that to give you a little background of the true tomfoolery that takes place and to tell this story.

During the last presidential election, my mom put McCain signs in her front yard and bumper stickers on her car.

As you can imagine, her political chatter was at an all time high and my lack of jackassery was taking its toll. One night I thought it would be funny to remove the McCain signs and replace then with Obama signs. Then I put Obama stickers over her McCain stickers in her vehicle. Bwahaha. The signs were noticed the next morning HOWEVER, stickers were AT LEAST a week or more before being noticed. I consider that a win!