Yu-Gi-Oh Inspiration

This is from my Facebook dated 8-30-11

While waiting for our pizza for dinner,Pacey decided that today was the day. Now was the time. This conversation was not only imperative and urgent but a matter of life and death in the 4th grade kingdom.

Yu-Gi-Oh cards, the appdrent equivalent to crack to 4th grade testosterone fueled mini men in training.

*sigh*

I'm a girl. I don't understand this nonsense. Special attacks,rare cards, limited edition foil cards that shimmer and shine. I prefer my shimmer and shine in the form of diamonds and platinum ... but I digress.

Not only is my son driven by the pure and unchallenged allure and magic of these said cards,I am pretty sure he is the pusher of this 4th grade card epidemic taking over recess and all the mini men in training that he encounters.

I'm dealing with his Yu-Gi-Oh "Godfather" status. I figure a few bowls of lucky charms will dull the confusion, we will see.

As I am processing these insightful and truly captivating words,he pulls out the big guns.

"Ya know Mom, at Target for only 19.99 they have this gold box with black on the front and a large red dragon on it. Its full of important and crucial cards. I'm getting good grades and umm...I have allowance."

This kid is cute. I don't think he fully comprehends that I've been at this begging thing way longer than he has. I literally want to squeeze the hell out of him. I love that kid. And yes,the con artist will most likely get his fix.....I mean CARDS!

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Youthful Novelty

The fabulous Miss Sophie Anabelle has a black Halloween shirt with bones,candy, all that nonsense. She wore it today for the first time....yeah, AFTER Halloween. Aside from the fact the shirt had glitter on it,she didn't take notice of much else.

Sophie and I took the pug alliance out to make a sissy (pug pee pee) and came back in. While its colder than the north effin pile outside,it is sunny. I managed to wiggle a miracle out of Miss Thang and negotiate a nap for a pair of new shoes. Listen,what she doesn't know is that I was going to purchase her some snazzy new kicks anyway so really, I win and and she has healthy delusions of winning. As Charlie Sheen would say,"I'm bi-winning! I'm winning here....I'm winning there!"

I'm snuggled in the double papasan chair with the flat faces and Sophie when she declares she too must make a sissy. Oy! She wiggled free of our furry and sleepy snuggles and prances down the hallway gleefully.

Less than a minute later....a shrill,blood curdling scream. All of us shoot up and are haul assing down the dayum hallway to find Sophie ushering us all into the bathroom,shutting the door and turning off the light.

Now I couldn't see the pugs as we were in the dark but I'm fairly sure they were saying,"Uh mom, this is harshing our morning mellow...Wtf dood ( pug for dude)."

Apparently, the skeletal system on this old navy shirt glows in the dark. The pug nation cannot see their little girl but they do see floating and glowing bones! Gah! They go past batshit and go immediately into apeshit crazy status. Trudy is howling, Cullen is screaming, Joey couldn't care less and plops his round ass on my feet. Bella goes bananas barking as if her noise level will somehow earn her unlimited arby's roast beef sandwiches. All this commotion leads little baby Otto to violently piss down the front of my way cute Hollister shirt. Sweet hell. You can scare the piss out of a pug,FYI.

So, if any of yall are wondering, I'd urge you not to shut your pugs in a dark bathroom with you if there is any indication that glowing items will be present. Oy!

Oh, Happy Thursday!!

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I'm swelling with pride!

Lucky for me,I was never one to harbor much shame. My delusions have led me a pretty blissful and happily ignorant existence. That being said, my human kids make me insanely proud. They're always bringing home works of art,aced spelling tests or some new development in their educations.

In these new.developments,sometimes we find rare instances of pure comedic gold. This one,I think, ranks right up there with a.previous hand drawing of a "pugshark". This is TECHNICALLY a bean seed. However, a bean seed was not my first take on this assignment. You be the judge.

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Otto Heals A Heart

Hi! This is Otto AKA Otto-mation-station. He is *almost* nine weeks old and preparing for the most exciting trip of his life! In two weeks, he will be traveling all the way to California where he will meet his forever family and his phenomenal Pug Mommie, Lori.

Lori is a dear and personal friend of mine who has been to hell and back,fighting with courage and strength that I can't even fathom. She resigned from a "religion" in which she could no longer morally or ethically be a part of and in doing so, this "religion" ordered her adult children to cease all contact with her.

It is hard to understand that concept taking place in America in 2011 but it happened. She has fought to all lengths to get her kids back and strides have been made. Her story has been in the media and is well documented. Last month her son was involved in a serious motorcycle accident in which he required major surgery and she she was not allowed to see him. She did eventually get to see him very briefly after a lot of preserverance.

As you can imagine, her life since Feb. has been wrought will anguish and heartbreak. Not having daily contact with her children has torn her heart to pieces.

After watching Otto grow from a newborn puppy to a striking mini companion has already filled Lori with immense joy. Just very very recently, she decided he was the flat faced one for her! As his homecoming date arrives,I can see the renewed joy and optimism return to her voice and smile. Pugs can heal hearts and Otto is healing hers! Hug your pug!!

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The Antithesis of Relaxation

Take in this mental picture. I'm in my most comfortable and well worn aeropostle pajama pants and a junky yet incredibly soft long sleeved t shirt snuggled into my double papasan chair with the pugnation snuggling while my beautiful daughter eats her breakfast in the recliner beside me.

Look,we aren't formal people. Actually, it may surprise some of you that we use utensils at all....shoot,there are days I break out the Chinet for those ultra fancy days we dine on Little Ceasars PIZZA PIZZA!

As  the fabulous Miss Sophie Anabelle munches on her nutricious meal, I issue not one--but two warnings to keep her piggies OFF the end table. I had a ginormous honkin' wild cherry Pepsi sitting there in a meek attempt to wake the hell up.

There we are, quietly snuggled in,watching Annie in our super warm house. Say it with me, AHHHHH!

My eyes fluttered,pugs snored softly and I started to doze myself. All of the sudden, something insanely cold started to drip down my face and run down my back. I was positive I didn't pee myself but that was the only fact I was sure of.

In the ruckus, a splash of Cherry Pepsi stayed the pug alliance and sent them into a snorting tizzy of batshit proportions. They clawed me in an attempt to escape the impending tsunami. It was pugs shenanigans.

I bolted up and outta the chair,seriously, you've never seen my carb lovin' ass move in such speed of grace. The pugs and I are standing in the center of the living room trying to piece together what the hell happened and Sophie is sitting completely still,hands folded in her lap and her little pink piggies directly in shot of where my beloved beverage WAS-OY!

Needless to say, the pug nation is scarred for life by the tomfoolery that took place today. I'm considering a bake sale to assist in shouldering their costs of the immediate Dog Whisperer visit.

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Puggie Trouble!

Do you see the look I'm getting here? You know the look, its quite similar to the look of over tired children at bedtime. You may wonder what I could have possibly done to deserve such a look of utter disgust and betrayal.....I shall divulge my dirty little secrets.

Secret #1 I had taco bell without them.  I have no shame whatsoever in admitting my devotion and addiction to Taco Bell. Oh lawd, I could easily consume this high fat,carb filled hug from Jesus daily,multiple times a day. This day I had consumed a tasty treat and in true Mimi fashion, dropped the shiz down the from of my shirt. I reeked of this aroma filled yumminess and did not think to bring home a trunk full of cheap Mexican food for them. *snort* call Animal Cops!

Secret #2 While purchasing dog food for the flat faced nation, I pet another pug in passing. A pug which had not yet had its ass sniffed for their personal inspection and approval. Now y'all know I love my pugs more than life but I have yet to be compelled to roam on my hands and need in search of a.curly tailed pug ass in which to sniff. Sorry fella's, not gonna happen.

Suffice it to say, my arrival home was met with excitement,kisses,reserved sniffing and then....the mean mug. The mean pug mug. Sheesh.

They backed a foot away cautiously in unison. Now let me be the first to let you know that they never do anything in unison unless it involves conspiring to lay a guilt trip on Mommie. They allowed their mass of wrinkles to relax, sighed heavily and looked at me with the sadness and anguish that only this type of abuse can produce.

I'll admit, I felt awful. Because of this ultimate betrayal and my guilt, I opened the fridge, got a few ham slices and cheese and wrapped little treats made out of priceless people food and snuggled each one as he/she scarred down their bribes. Wouldn't ya know, their wrinkles bounced back and grins spread across their faces and I *think* I learned my lesson! Oy!

psst:Otto loves Taco Bell too!

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*sigh*

I read this on a friend's wall earlier this morning and knew I wanted to share this heart-warming true story with all of you. ♥ Our 14-year-old dog Abbey died last month. The day after she passed away my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so, and she dictated these words: Dear God, Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick. I hope you will play with her. She likes to swim and play with balls. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her you will know that she is my dog. I really miss her. Love, Meredith We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had. Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies.' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note: Dear Meredith, Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help and I recognized her right away. Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by. Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I'm easy to find. I am wherever there is love. Love, God Don't say you're too busy to forward this. Just go ahead and do it