I had a slight overzealous moment in which I decided to clear the fridge of leftovers and make a chocolate pie.

Few sounds can rile the attentions of  my flat faces as quickly as a fridge door opening. Lawd, you've heard of the running of the bulls? They have nothing on the pug coalition. Nails click against the hardwood floors as they run as fast as they can to take position in the kitchen just in case I happen to drop a morsel of food.

I start with the freezer and the snorting starts,in the process of the freezer inspection, I might have dropped an ice cube or two.

Like an amatuer, I crouch down to start with the fridge shenanigans. There I am, knee deep (hypothetically) in this psuedo Martha Stewart tomfoolery when something cold and wet drips down my buttcrack......then continues to drip.

I'm immediately alarmed,not alarmed enough to stand up quite yet but enough to reach around and retrieve the cold,wet ice chunk from the crack of my ass. That made me stand up. Behind me were four adult pug faces and one baby pug face ridden with guilt. I'm unsure of who the culprit was but I will find out!!

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Eww! why!?!

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Overindulgent Lumberjack

Yup,that's me. I've made it no secret that I harbor grand delusions of myself in almost all ways. In fact, I can be a vain little jerk. On Saturday when I prepared my cuteness routine for an epic girls night out, I spent at least an hour in the mirror. Hair blown dry and straightened,make up applied and blended carefully, clothing and jewelry painstakingly chosen. I swear on all that is holy, I looked in the mirror for an absurd amount of time and not only found myself attractive but I took this delusion further by claiming that I rocked it.

I've filled you in on the GNO shenanigans and tomfoolery and outlandish drunkenness,and of course I documented this jackassery with an overload of photos. These photos were going to be PROOF of my effort and obvious cuteness and while I was drunk,I still held this as truth.

Two days later as I take another Goody's headache powder and reevaluate these reminders of my effort and time,I have come to the conclusion that I am an unphotogenic,overindulgent lumberjack. Eff.

Upon this sobering discovering,I've decided it is imperative that I eat better and work out. I decided this as I unwrapped and devoured roughly seven small cherry laffy taffys's. I'm considering a bake sale or Mojito fundraiser to pay for a large amount of plastic surgery. Hmmm. By the way, did I mention I made a chocolate pudding pie with cool whip on top? Lawd.

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Public Service Announcement

*this* is why you don't drink in excess kids! I'm in plaid on the right plagued by the look of death and dispair. I feel as bad as I look.

And this is my Cullen Carlisle.....he isn't hungover but he is feeling sympathy pains for Mommie.

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Clearly, I have learned *nothing*

Remember my overindulgence in adult beverages over Halloween weekend? Obviously my memory of the horrific agony vanished from my memory as my best girls and I ventured out on a Girls Night Out slumber party.

Dinner at Quaker Steak & Lube started out with a cherrilicious lemonade, filled with alcohol. It was amazing. Then I was informed by Lucas G (waiter dude) that if I bought a specific drink,I could keep the mason jar it was served in. Initially,the jar itself didn't appeal to me,what did appeal to me was that it said LUBE on the front. Why yes,I'll drink one of those.

Two drinks gave me a buzz and we headed to our hotel to check in and hit the hot tub. We swam, we hottubbed and reestablished our cuteness and called Otis,the biggest,baddest cab drivin' mo fo in the greater Fort Wayne area. He arrived promptly at out lobby door, opened our door for us and took us swiftly to our destination, Snickerz comedy club.

By this time,I couldnt wait to continue the consumption of adult beverages and opted for a big ass long island iced tea,also served in a big ass jar.

This effer was HUGE, I had two, a cherry bomb and a smurf shot and a basket of corn dog nuggets and curly fries. I felt invincible,until we stood up and the alcohol surged through my body. LORT!(I stole this word from puggilicious Laura). I was drunnnnk, because we went to snickerz,we got free admission to Pierres, a club that has five other clubs within.

This is where things get fuzzy, I know for a fact that I had a captain and coke, a Jamaican cow boy and at least five tube shots, probably more since these ladies walk around Willy nilly allowing you to buy these mid dance. Mid flipping dance!

*running man*

*shot*

*cabbage patch*

*shot*

*sprinkler*

*shot*

It has also been proven that we do have moves like Jagger. Just sayin'. Then we danced like 21year old spring chickens and were invited onstage by the drummer of the band. Winning!

We finally got back to the hotel around 4 and crash shortly thereafter. Three and a half mother effin hours later, Jessica is fairly sure she smells bacon. I look at the time on the digital clock and go back to sleep. Once everyone but me is up and ready,I stumble out of bed and take a hot shower. Head pounding,eyes won't open and the overwhelming urge to vomit or possibly shit myself. Oy. Brushed my teeth,took a headache powder and made the excruitiating walk with my cohorts to the hotel lobby to eat our free breakfast.

I'm torn,I have no desire whatsoever to consume anything but I also have no desire to he so hungry I get ill. Scrambled eggs, hashbrowns and an English muffin fill and make me want to wretch. We are surrounded by joyful, sober morning people and we are droopy eyed,exhausted,haggard looking bunch of over achieving drinkers. Oy! I find out that I taught a Haitian how to say Willy Nilly, Shenanigans and Tomfoolery. You are welcome.

I'm at home now, armed with red powerade and tylenol and goody's headache powder. I feel like HAIL. I'm too old for this yo,too datum old. But it was so much fun. Huge huge love to my girls Amber,Jessica and Heather for a stellar time!!!!

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The Parrow Pugs say HI

Joey,Trudy,Cullen,Otto and Bella say hi!! We are enjoying our last days with Otto before his adventure home to California!

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Things that make ya go......REALLY!?!

Something about my face attracts pugs,specifically pug asses to attempt to sit on my face. While I do consider them very childlike, I have yet to allow a kidlet to sit on my face and will never extend an invitation for a pug to do so.

Unfortunately,my rag tag crew of nose challenged furbabies either did not receive this message or they are a misguided gang of personal space invaders.

Most of my blogs seem to center around my infamous papasan chair. I realize they aren't gorgeous or stylish but what they are is a hug from Jesus. I mean really, who doesn't want to lounge in a bowl of soft,comfy pillows? Pfffft, I do.

I'm watching Horrible Bosses (hysterical and profanity filled,just the way I like it) and little Otto whines on the floor for snuggles,I pick him up and he nuzzles in and nods to sleep. Three of the four big flat faces are sleeping on the couch blissfully,Cullen somehow spots that Otto has made his way  to the promised land and has no intention of not getting just as much,if not more,snuggle time.

Due to his.....um.....curves, his ability to jump up onto the bowl of pillows is seriously hindered. I take pity on this attention starved puglet and heave him onto my lap. Fairly sure I strained something.

I lean down and get comfy only to look up in time to see a pug ass of gigantic proportions in the process of sitting on my face. I had just enough time to turn my head to the left before it happened. Pug ass on the face. Oy! Really??

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