Hurricane Isaac's remnants are hitting Mimiland and a good monsoon seemed to be the perfect recipe to actually super clean my house.
Honing in on the kitchen, I mopped the floors MYSELF. I fucking hate mopping the floors but I did it spectacularly in cute shoes. Not heels, but Vera Wang ballet flats nonetheless. Really, mopping and vacuuming rank right up there with going to WalMart on purpose or a public colonoscopy. The floor dried and the untrustables gathered at my feet as I gathered and bagged garbage and sat it by the door to be taken out the moment the torrential downpour eased. Feeling slightly accomplished, I took a selfish moment to pee. What in the blue hell was I thinking!?
I peed, washed my hands and returned to the kitchen where I interrupted mass fucking destruction of the garbage! LuLu's fat ass is sitting IN a pizza box licking any nibble of cheese she can find, Bella and Joey are ripping apart roughly two boxes of Kleenex that has been disposed of this week and Cullen and Petey are balls (well, empty ball sacs) deep in watermelon while Trudy goes sibling to sibling, graciously accepting and shredding their trash scraps.
They pause slightly to take in my reaction of,"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?" before proceeding to chew the hell out of the trash.
Dogshaming! Puhlease. Amatuers!
