January 4, 2012

Say it with me!! Hallelujah!!

I'm so excited I could jump for joy, I could pee my pants, I could scream for joy at the top of my lungs. Tomorrow is the day I have been anxiously awaiting since about day two of winter vacation.

Don't get me wrong people, we had a  lot of fun, we did a lot of things and bonded over Harry Potter, star gazing, and Pug nonsense. We read books,played games and watched YouTube endlessly. We enjoyed a stellar holiday with amazing people and somehow completely effed the perfect and functional routine we had going on.

Late bedtimes. By late bedtimes, I mean almost non-effing-existent. Were you aware that the mere mention of bedtime evokes the feeling of instant urination in all three children at the same time? As it turns out, this feeling will last at least an hour, maybe two...concurrently despite the unforseen trips to the restroom to rectify this situation.

Bedtime also brings to mind random and very detailed information that must be relayed to Mommie intermittently every few minutes until a look of annoyance and borderline rage flashes across her face. This fearless trio is not detoured, the grand inquisition continues until Mommie Dearest emerges and DSi's are confiscated and Little Orphan Annie is THISCLOSE to being a dvd of nonexistence.

Oy! Now I'm parched, Mimi time has *finally* arrived....right?? Guess again!! Nah, this is the time where one of three (and you never know which one) will have an asinine crisis. The most recent being the loss of Rapunzels essential accessory,her crown. Yes, this ranks up high within my biggest lifes worries. World peace, equality for everyone, ending bullying and ya know, finding this psuedo Barbies's crown. Fluck.

Once its all said and done, the lunatics are asleep, the pugs are snoring and quiet time in MimiLand shall commence, except its now my bedtime. Wtf!

Typically, we can get this bedtime tomfoolery wrapped up in 30 minutes or less, unfortunately, vacation derailed this train violently. I've been trying to get us back into the routine with absolutely no results whatsoever. These beautiful jerks will not go to sleep at the required appointment with dreamland. Do they not understand how important sleep is, or how crucial Mimi time is??? Clearly, not. After eventually falling asleep unbelievably late, these weirdos wake up before God and the sun wanting to talk about cereal and ihop. Dude!?!

Mornings are not my finest hours in life. I'm tired, cold, annoyed and almost a mute. I don't want to talk to anyone,nor do I wish to be talked to. In fact, I want to go right back to bed. My children share this distaste for mornings and therefore,it is usually a nonevent. Not on vacation. With only a few small hours of sleep under their belts,they are having "Oprah's lightbulb moments" left and right and they need to verbalize this shenanigans right effing now!!

Once they've been fueled with the most yummy pop tarts available at Target, they're on full annoyance search and destroy missions. Overachievers. Oy! It's an insane clusterfuck of bickering, rattling and pugs snorting,really!?!

The light at the end of the tunnel is *finally* here!! Tomorrow, I get to drop them off and know they're in phenomenal, professional care!!!!! Yaaay!!