November 13, 2011

Clearly, I have learned *nothing*

Remember my overindulgence in adult beverages over Halloween weekend? Obviously my memory of the horrific agony vanished from my memory as my best girls and I ventured out on a Girls Night Out slumber party.

Dinner at Quaker Steak & Lube started out with a cherrilicious lemonade, filled with alcohol. It was amazing. Then I was informed by Lucas G (waiter dude) that if I bought a specific drink,I could keep the mason jar it was served in. Initially,the jar itself didn't appeal to me,what did appeal to me was that it said LUBE on the front. Why yes,I'll drink one of those.

Two drinks gave me a buzz and we headed to our hotel to check in and hit the hot tub. We swam, we hottubbed and reestablished our cuteness and called Otis,the biggest,baddest cab drivin' mo fo in the greater Fort Wayne area. He arrived promptly at out lobby door, opened our door for us and took us swiftly to our destination, Snickerz comedy club.

By this time,I couldnt wait to continue the consumption of adult beverages and opted for a big ass long island iced tea,also served in a big ass jar.

This effer was HUGE, I had two, a cherry bomb and a smurf shot and a basket of corn dog nuggets and curly fries. I felt invincible,until we stood up and the alcohol surged through my body. LORT!(I stole this word from puggilicious Laura). I was drunnnnk, because we went to snickerz,we got free admission to Pierres, a club that has five other clubs within.

This is where things get fuzzy, I know for a fact that I had a captain and coke, a Jamaican cow boy and at least five tube shots, probably more since these ladies walk around Willy nilly allowing you to buy these mid dance. Mid flipping dance!

*running man*


*cabbage patch*




It has also been proven that we do have moves like Jagger. Just sayin'. Then we danced like 21year old spring chickens and were invited onstage by the drummer of the band. Winning!

We finally got back to the hotel around 4 and crash shortly thereafter. Three and a half mother effin hours later, Jessica is fairly sure she smells bacon. I look at the time on the digital clock and go back to sleep. Once everyone but me is up and ready,I stumble out of bed and take a hot shower. Head pounding,eyes won't open and the overwhelming urge to vomit or possibly shit myself. Oy. Brushed my teeth,took a headache powder and made the excruitiating walk with my cohorts to the hotel lobby to eat our free breakfast.

I'm torn,I have no desire whatsoever to consume anything but I also have no desire to he so hungry I get ill. Scrambled eggs, hashbrowns and an English muffin fill and make me want to wretch. We are surrounded by joyful, sober morning people and we are droopy eyed,exhausted,haggard looking bunch of over achieving drinkers. Oy! I find out that I taught a Haitian how to say Willy Nilly, Shenanigans and Tomfoolery. You are welcome.

I'm at home now, armed with red powerade and tylenol and goody's headache powder. I feel like HAIL. I'm too old for this yo,too datum old. But it was so much fun. Huge huge love to my girls Amber,Jessica and Heather for a stellar time!!!!

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  1. Wow a good time was had by all

  2. Love you.. Glad you had a great time. Although, I wish I was there too!!! I'm guessing my little Mimi won't be drinking for awhile. haha

  3. "LORT!" is right!!!!

    Hope you're feeling better and didn't shit yourself!

    Puggilicious Laura (which I believe I'm stealing and going to have embossed on some fancy stationery!)