November 14, 2011

Overindulgent Lumberjack

Yup,that's me. I've made it no secret that I harbor grand delusions of myself in almost all ways. In fact, I can be a vain little jerk. On Saturday when I prepared my cuteness routine for an epic girls night out, I spent at least an hour in the mirror. Hair blown dry and straightened,make up applied and blended carefully, clothing and jewelry painstakingly chosen. I swear on all that is holy, I looked in the mirror for an absurd amount of time and not only found myself attractive but I took this delusion further by claiming that I rocked it.

I've filled you in on the GNO shenanigans and tomfoolery and outlandish drunkenness,and of course I documented this jackassery with an overload of photos. These photos were going to be PROOF of my effort and obvious cuteness and while I was drunk,I still held this as truth.

Two days later as I take another Goody's headache powder and reevaluate these reminders of my effort and time,I have come to the conclusion that I am an unphotogenic,overindulgent lumberjack. Eff.

Upon this sobering discovering,I've decided it is imperative that I eat better and work out. I decided this as I unwrapped and devoured roughly seven small cherry laffy taffys's. I'm considering a bake sale or Mojito fundraiser to pay for a large amount of plastic surgery. Hmmm. By the way, did I mention I made a chocolate pudding pie with cool whip on top? Lawd.

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1 comment:

  1. 1. Share the mf'n pie DAMN
    2. You are fabulous and the vanity is well warranted and you know I'd never lie to you
    3. Lumber jack my ass you say that biotch with the green shirt and gloves, also the weird horse tooth girl, and that gigantasaur wearing a fedora
    All proof that you are far from being a lumber jack and I'll smack the shit out of your pretty little ass if you speak this nonsense again-just sayin :) <3 you