Petey Pablo and Talulah "LULU" Eloise and their ANGELS!

I believe in fate, kismet...in everything happening for a reason. Whatever should be, will be.

If you asked me ONE WEEK AGO what I'd be doing, I can assure you that driving to Michigan to rescue two 7 year old pugs that were essentially confined to a hallway was not on my agenda.

With my foster, Emma Bea, happily settled into her forever home, I did have an emptiness that nagged at me but I knew that fostering right now wasn't an option.

My twin in profanity & pug adoration,Laura, came across a friend of a friend who had two bonded pugs that she needed to rehome. Two pugs, two small girls and another on the way left little room or time for this dynamic duo.

An instantaneous outpouring of fosters and homes were offered and I couldn't help but immediately offer to take these two in and love them every single day for the rest of their lives.

After two days of emails, calls and texts, I was blessed beyond belief when I was chosen to be Petey and LuLu's Mommie!

Within hours, Laura and I planned a road trip to Michigan to pick up my additions and bring them to Mimiland!

Laura, without hesitation navigated, encouraged and gave so selflessly of herself to being this pair of flat faces to their forever home.

Now, I'm not saying that profanity wasn't spewed at bad drivers or that shenanigans were not had but that's an R rated....potentially X rated story for another time.

It was love at first sight! Their names it them to a T so I tweaked middle names to welcome them into the warped world I live in. Petey is now Petey Pablo and LuLu is Talulah Eloise. Formal names because we're all fancy and shit!

Without any pause in the untrustables behalf, the dynamic duo was welcomed with open food bowls and tons of toys to share. It was kismet, fate.

Petey Pablo needed neutered and palette surgery will be required for one, if not both of them. I knew this going in and it was a burden I knew was mine.

I've always said that pug people are the best people in the entire world. I'm incredibly lucky to be a part of a group devoted to our flatties and each other.

Unbeknownst to me, these incredible people rallied together and called our trusted Vet and donated generously towards "The Parrow Pugs". These amazing souls, from all over the country love Petey and LuLu so much and gave so selflessly of themselves that even now, I'm stunned.

Today as I dropped off Petey to be neutered, I was greeted by the entire staff at some point in the visit. Everyone wanted to meet the pugs that so many people love and adore.

Angel and Megan had tears in their eyes, telling me that my friends were angels on earth and miracles workers. An understatement. I can never in a million years express the immense gratitude and overwhelming sense of love I'm filled with at this moment.

Dr. Radcliffe said that he had never seen such an outpouring of generosity and unity towards a rescue and for me, THIS GESTURE of unconditional love and teamwork has humbled me and taught me so much about the true human spirit and how much good our furry friends bring out in one another.

Petey was a trooper and recovered well, I literally couldn't wait to pick him up.



Pacey and I went in and were greeted by another tech to check us out and reunite us with our little guy. She smiled, shook her head and handed us our paperwork and said that we had quite a credit on our account.

*thud*

I'm the luckiest girl on earth. This was far and wide a TEAM RESCUE and these babies have such a phenomenal and selfless family. In this experience, I learned something that I'll meet forget and I'll always strive to do for others---I was rescued in so many ways. I'll never be able to repay the kindness, love and generosity of so many selfless people! Thank you from the bottom of my heart <3

Privacy!? Hell no! C'mon in!

Facebook only allows me so much room to properly express my day to day traumas and by the time I condense it to Facebook length, it's hardly that traumatic so I said fuck that, here's the whole story! Ready!?

I have three human miniatures (kids) ages 10,8 and *almost* 5. Two boys and a girl, yeah. Now that we've established that, we can now establish that yesterday we celebrated super awesome Independence Day with the family at my brothers. It's my FAVORITE holiday! It typically entails drinking but the responsibility of driving home killed that dream. Oy vey.

Swimming,hottubbing,eating, fireworks, karaoke and insane amounts of shenanigans were had until about three in the morning when this SOBER Mommie loaded the children and all their accessories and belongings into Lucie Lancer and drove home and into the garage. At this point, I can HEAR the Untrustables (pugs) going HAM because they hear us and the boys are running around willy nilly tormenting one another while I carry a very limp diva to the door and unlock the sumbitch. Teeth are grudgingly brushed and within ten minutes, silence has commenced but I'm too tired to care and I go the hell to bed too. Damn.

I told you that, to tell you this. This group of party animals slept in until about noon, for real! It sounds great and really, it was except that I had to get up way earlier to take pugs potty and feed and water the insatiable freaks and I attempt to go right back to bed. Not easy, it's light outside and I have a monstrous headache so after some aleve and water, I'm snuggled in my bed exhausted but not able to sleep.

I get on the iPhone, get Netflix goin and plow through several episodes of Weeds season 6 until I doze off, which gained me about forty five minutes of mediocre sleep before the troops have woken with an intense sensation of hunger and irritation. Eh, I'll take it.

Still with me? Long and drawn out I know but you really need to realize the level of irritation I was in and take not that my nonsense intake was not in a charitable mood.

Things One,Two and Three are fed and watching a movie because apparently Indiana has reached it's peak in HELL setting. I'm just saying if I break a sweat yawning outside, we are staying inside or going to a water park and I didn't have the ability or motivation to tackle half dressed people that have no damn business being anything but mummified to protect my gag reflex. Inside it is.

After twenty minutes of arguing over which movie, who sits where and who is breathing too loudly or sitting too closely or whatfuckingever, there is a calm. This is my cue to go shower and listen to music that is not only inappropriate and filled with profanity but also makes me happy. I firmly believe anytime you can combine Manaj, Jay Z and Kanye with dirty words and the phrase,"I'm a MUTHA FUCKIN MONSTA!" it's a win.

Any parent that says they don't use the restroom as an escape at least once is a bold faced liar. I don't care if you're super nanny, Mary effin Poppins, we need to get away from these mouth breathers sometimes! I'm in a towel, brushing my teeth listening to a naughty song and acquiring mental "swag" and the damn door flies open and Pacey immediately starts in on some comic book coming out in two weeks. I'm looking at him just waiting for him to realize that he just busted in on his Mom in the bathroom wrapped in a towel and nothing else and be traumatized and get the hell out! Does he? Oh hellllll nah. He pauses for a nano second, just long enough to hear Jay Z drop the f bomb. Great.


He grins, totally my kid,"Mom, is that Jay Z?"

Now I'm just proud, the kid has taste!

"Because he just said the f word. We can't say that."

He has a point but so do I and dammit I'm kinda over it! Get out, fuck.

Me:"Yes, it's Jay Z and yes he said the f word and Mommie is REALLLLLLY close to saying it too if I can't get dressed alone!"

I'm still utterly dumbfounded that his sense of modesty hasn't kicked in yet. This is the same kid, along with his younger brothers assistance, lodged a complaint with me because their friends said I was cute. Apparently, they wanted me to ugly it up a bit. Gawd. Jerks. These SAME kids have no compunction about entering the bathroom with the force of a DEA raid!

Pacey:"Will you make me popcorn?"

What the hell! As if I could facilitate a massive popcorn popping festival from the bathroom, really!? And you're ten, walk into the kitchen, open the cabinet and get the popcorn and proceeded to the microwave and pop the hell out of it! Damn!

I'm sure you're asking why I didn't lock the door and I admit, you make a great point. I'll tell you why. In the tenish years I've had children, I've had each one lock themselves inside (more than once) and proceed into a full meltdown. When I say "meltdown", I do not mean a little crying and a slight panic. I want you to envision one of those homely, morally compromised women on Maury that are seeking DNA testing and upon learning the nineteenth guy tested ain't "da baby daddy" and loses her shit. Wailing, speaking in tongues, convulsions....that kind of shit. Not to mention the inevitable breaking into the bathroom to rescue them and the clean up afterwards. No thanks.

With Pacey gone and the door cracked, Ashton and Sophie make their move! Do I know how to spell Justin Bieber? Will Green Day tour here soon and if so, will I take him (Ashton) and only him?

It's at this time that Sophie has decided to give me a play by play of her favorite parts of The Avengers with a mini reenactment. She's totally The Hulk punching Thor, pretending to punch Ashton in the side of the noggin and he appropriately throws himself on the floor in defeat and then enlisting her lamby to show me how The Hulk made Loki his bitch and threw him around like a ragdoll. Pretty creative and whatnot but I'm in a dayum towel! Get OUT!

They retreat to create new nonsense and the Untrustables enter and sit to stare at me and occasionally lick my leg.

I realize peeing without assistance may be just a novelty but c'mon, let's not make a social gathering of it!

The Hardest Goodbye- Aunt Emma Bea

When I say I'm writing this through tears, please know that I'm under exaggerating the sheer disastrous sob that's really occurring. The "I can't breathe, there might be snot all over my face and f*ck, now I've got the hiccups" kind of cry.

Two months ago, my heart was changed in such a miraculous and incredible way. I walked into an animal shelter and left with an eight year old, partially blind pug named Aunt Bea.

Her skin was a disaster, she was covered in fleas and her eyes crusted with God knows what. Her stench was tolerable and the look of absolute gratitude as I scooped her into my arms was the most heartwarming thing.

Weary and confused, she trusted me to put her in the car and take her home. She trusted me to love get unconditionally and take her to the vet, cook for her and treat her wounds around the clock.

Weeks passed and with each day she grew more confident and trusted me more. At meal times, she'd linger so Sophie would inevitably hand feed her, which she adored.

I've said time and time again that pug people are truly the most amazing people in the world, my pug group really rallied around Aunt Emma Bea and sent her love from all around te country! Love that encouraged her and brought out her tenacious spirit!

Within the last two weeks, Bea's true personality emerged in such an astounding way! She began to walk with confidence and wiggle her entire body when she was happy and bark and "talk" when she wanted to express herself.

She MASTERED the art of begging. Winking, barking, talking and telepathically willing me to give up my people yummies to her, you've seen that face---who could resist!? Not I!

From day 1, I knew this day was coming and I had managed to push that out of my mind and heart until the very last second. Today, Aunt Emma Bea went to live with her forever family on her very own Happy Tail.

She has two brothers, Buster and Charlie and a sweet human kid name Daniel who is spoiling her beyond imagination as we speak.

I wish I could say that I handled her departure with grace, composure an maturity but I'll be honest, I'm devastated. I'm lost. I feel numb, empty and distraught. But overall, I feel rescued. Aunt Emma Bea gave me a gift that I could never repay her. She gave me her trust, her love and her complete willingness to give second chances. She rescued me.

I already miss you immensely Emma Bea, I miss your snuggles and your funny barks but I cannot wait to see you again lovey girl!

I want to thank Suzanne and her family for giving Bea the fairytale she deserves. I love you guys!