Oy!

It all started quite innocently. Sophie Anabelle crawled into my snuggie covered lap and held my face so gently in her little bitty hands and asked, "Can I have an apple Momma?" I kissed her little pink lips and off she scurried into the kitchen to acquire the apple and start eating it! Less than five minutes later, she comes in and says, "The door is open and the pugs are outside!" I'm like, "Uh, what? Huh? What's that you say? Door? Open? Pugs outside? WHA???" Let me insert a little back story here. When the kids eat apples, I allow them to toss them out into the backyard for birds, raccoons, what the hell ever wants to scurry through my yard for a mid day snack. Before you call PETA, I am fairly sure that no wild animal ever bit the big one from an apple core. It has yet to turn a rodents intestines into mush as a result of one bite. Needless to say, Miss Fashionista took a total of three bites of this abnormally large apple and decided her starvation had subsided and she was ready to discard her core....or whole damn apple...into the yard. In doing so, she didn't fully shut the door and my flat faced little detectives picked up on this fact. Of course, rambunctious Miss Tru found a way to shove her smooshed face through the crack, push the door open and allow them total and unsupervised freedom. Now when I tell you they went batshit crazy, that is exactly what I mean. These curly tailed mo fo's ran around like they had just been given the gift of mobility. They went at a speed that made cheetahs wince! Did they listen to my calls for them to return to Parrow land? No they did not! Did they listen to my more urgent calls for their immediate return? No they did not! Did they in any way, shape or form acknowledge my arm flailing, running or panicked state? NO THEY DID NOT! Do you know what they did notice? A mutha effin' squirrel. Grilled Cheesus! Trudy is chasing this poor squirrel like her life depends on it. Cullen is chasing Trudy like she has a T Bone tied to her back and Bella is chasing them both because she feels a need to be a part of this ragtag group of misfits. What is Joey doing? Oh, Joey is backing his ass up to the deck step so he can drop a deuce. Oy! Finally, I clap them into submission and three of the four crazies are in the house. Not Trudy, she has decided to try to become the first pug lumberjack and chew a tree! Gah! Really? We all come in, I give the standard door opening and closing safety lecture to the four year old lady and the pugs are in TIME OUT! Otto, the almost nine week old wonder pug is glaring at them from the kitchen as if to say, "Ha! I'm the youngest and I'm not in trouble sucka's!" So....who wants to pug sit??