December 3, 2011


I've never hated and loathed any one place more in my life. As I've stated numerous times before, it is reeks of dispair,germ infested,snotty and hysterical children and every disease and virus known to man and carnival animals. I fucking hate this place. If profanity and obscene language offends you,please exit now...there's about to be a rant so overloaded with crude language that even the most seasoned potty mouths will be stunned.

Let me state that I avoid that god forsaken place with every ounce of my being. The *only* reason I went there was because they had my favorite corndogs.....a huge ass case of these delicious sumbitches at an extremely reasonable price.

Predictably,the minute we walked into the ecoli encrusted doors, I'm bombarded with at least a half dozen screaming and crying carrier monkeys of varies ages. Lovely. Were you aware that just walking through the door makes you regress to the slowest speed ever. Slow. I take that back,slow would be a vast improvement from the slug like pace these mo fo's were going. As expected, these life forms all know each other and must meet MID AISLE to begin their impromptu reuinon of freak show rejects. Listen mother f*ckers, the longer I'm in this ramshackled hut,the greater my chances are of contracting Walmart bred swine flu. In my head, all I hear is Ludacris rapping," MOVE BITCH,GET OUT THE WAY!" These bitches did not move and my initial polite "excuse me" went unnoticed. I shoved through. Fuckers.

I finally make it to my psuedo promised land where my delicious weenies on a stick should be and what the hell do ya know, they are OUT. O U T. Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

I'm damn near distraught and already have milk,bread and burritos that are essential in Mimi Land & hit the express check out. Express meaning FAST, right? Wrong! The assho (short for asshole) cashier has picked up on the slow facto and added a.dose of bitchy to the equation.

My whopping and disappointing $12.00 purchase was almost over,I swiped my debit card and she pushed something it cleared. She instructs me rudely to swipe it again. I press debit,it says wait for cashier. It should say wait for rude bitch,but I digress. I waited,them I POLITELY told her what it said on my screen, she sighs because you know asking her to do her job above and beyond what she is capable of. I've been a cashier, I'm not an asshole unless warranted and I know pressing *a* button is taxing but get over it and achieve your gdayum goals already.

"Swipe it again," she barks. I have fucking had it with this dirty ass place,its rude employees and hygiene deficient and germ spreading customers.

I said,"Customer service certainly isn't your strong suit is it?" I swiped my damn card and what do you know, she pushed the debit button and I was done! Sweet hell. I gathered my two measly bags and gave her eff off look. I plan on crafting a replica of Walmart later and refer to it as my VooDoo doll.

Corndogs be damned,I will not go to that pit of hell again!!! I went to Meijer and paid more but I did get my corn dogs! Winning!!!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1


  1. Haha Mimi, we will gladly take your money and do it while appreciating you!! Hehe.

  2. or the familys that stand at the produce aisle and eat the fruit openly standing there eating the grapes or cherries. makes my skin crawl.

  3. Hmmm. Mail order? Sam's Club, a slightly lesser circle of hell? I no longer go into Kmart for this reason, I don't care how much $$ I waste. Not worth my sanity.

  4. says she had to go boil herself in hand sanitizer after reading this article.

    She hates WallyWorld too....but, yeah, we have to shove through too from time to time. Ugh.