January 2, 2012

Domestically Challenged

Let me first say, it isn't that I don't care, it is simply that I don't want to. I'm a competitive person and a self admitted poor sport. Don't worry, I'm not going to pull a Tyson and bite your ear off in an unsportsmanlike rampage but if I have the knowledge that I'm not particularly good at something, I prefer to focus my attention elsewhere.

I've never really enjoyed cooking,cleaning,grocery shopping or anything that requires me to spend asinine amounts of time doing something that will quickly be eaten and gone, made filthy once again or reorganized shortly after I've just organized it. Unfortunately,these desires do not always sit well with my OCD but my ADD and lack of attention makes all of this nonsense balance. Go ahead,wrap your mind around that.

So,in all of this holiday nonsense and my two penis havers and miss diva being home on break, things in Mimiland are slightly amiss. I love these lunatics more than life,I'd do absolutely anything for them day or night HOWEVER, I'll be the first to admit, they're driving me to the land of no return.

No Pacey, I don't have any earthly idea of how telescopes are.put together and try as I might, at 32 years of age, I cannot pick a constellation out of the sky to save my life. I *want* to assist you,I really do little dude but I truly cannot. Any star nerds.here?? Help!!

Ashton Michael, I enjoy playing board games with you. Hell, the Mommie in me even enjoys allowing you to beat me at Scrabble when we both know that I'm a word nerd and a phenomenal speller. What I do not want to do is play scrabble,yahtzee, sorry,connect four, monopoly,apples to apples and cranium RIGHT NOW. I also cannot figure out how to construct a battleship out of some kit. I was not gifted with the crafty gene. But by all means,keep asking me over and over and over again....just in case.

That leaves us with the way fabulous Miss Sophie Anabelle that insists on hourly costume changes, costume changes for her ensamble of Princess Barbies and alas costume changes for her imaginary friends "Shaddy" and Shaddy Boa". Oy! Then Miss lady insists we do makeovers and tea. Now we all know, I love makeovers and costume changes but this chick is BOSSY and her make up applications leave much to be desired. When Tammy Faye Baker is upstaged.....there is an issue.

As you can see, MimiLand is being overrun by little people....and they're undeniably selfish. Sheesh. Motherhood is super not as fashionable as you might imagine.

Suffice it to say,in an attempt to retain what little sanity was.left, I *might* have ignored unnecessary domestic slave labor. Instead, I opted to use and wear almost every single item of clothing in MimiLand as opposed to doing laundry. Domestic or not, I love the smell of clean laundry.....just not enough to actually do it. Yes, I have the ability, I lack the gumption.

Getting to my last pair of clean jeans, socks,etc.....I bit the bullet and washed every single piece of worn clothing in the house....and car. Yes, car. Sometimes I just have to change. After it all smelled lovely,I piled it all on my king sized bed and resigned myself to the fact that folding,hanging and putting away all these devine smelling fabrics was my fate.

I shut myself in my room and stared at this heap of cleanliness,I could easily spot a few of my favorite things. Naturally,I stared some more and texted Lori. I texted Lori some more,then Amber and Jessica. Then I checked Facebook, read a few of my favorite blogs and turned on Pandora. You'd be surprised how much I can avoid when I'm listening to Pandora and texting. Bruno Mars and I had a moment *sigh* I folded a shirt, hung up another,WAHOO!

Then a song came on I had to sing along to...off key....blissfully aware that singing is not my forte. Then, of course, I had to YouTube it. Afterwards, I checked Victoria's Secret website, holy shit!!! A sale. Another 30 minutes gone.

It was at this time I felt it imperative to send a cry for help in the form of a photo. Here's the thing people, I know this needs done. I want it done and put away nicely, I just don't want to be the one to do it. I fold a little more,text more than that and play more fun music and still, there's so much left to do. Sigh.

Guess what?? In MimiLand, a musical might help. The Book of Mormon??? YES! I text Amber, we really must see this Broadway sensation, and while we're at it, Darren Criss will be on Broadway too! GIRL TRIP!!!!!

You know what might help?? A drink!! Yes,that's it. After my texting has died down, people on Facebook have gone about their lives and I have managed to bore myself, I suck it up and fold,hang and put away all of the laundry. Lord.

I said all of that to say this, I know so many amazing women who go to the grocery, plan and execute big,delicious meals,clean the kitchen and then go about their next task. Here I am, drooling on the VS site,taking inventory of my shoes and wishing I had a maid. Truly, I have zero use for a kitchen. It would make an impeccable and large closet....hmmm.

I *bowdown* to all of you domestic goddesses! You are astounding!!


  1. I'm right there with ya Mimi...Domestic stuff is definitely not my forte!!!
    You can ship the kids to Cal to hang with Auntie Lori. I wouldn't mind one bit!!!
    They would come back from Cal being Beach Bums and Moto rebels!!!

  2. Considering their affinity for doing wreckless things, they'd take up surfing, moto and anything else they come accross! Lol!!

  3. Google sky ap is the telescope answer. Hmm ... I can't help you with the rest. Does Target sell a laundry folding machine?

  4. Google sky ap is the telescope answer. Hmm ... I can't help you with the rest. Does Target sell a laundry folding machine?

  5. Google sky app? On it. I know Target like the back of my hand, its my playground. I have YET to find a solution to my unfounded domestic issues.