November 26, 2011

Otto's unbelievable adventure!

What an adventure it has been!!! Otto was initially scheduled to fly to sunny California on Monday the 21st but because of my amazing immune system I had been in the ER with walking pneumonia and a raging sinus infection. We postponed his flight plans and were scheduled for a Weds flight and little Otto would get to spend his first Thanksgiving with his Mommie Lori!

I woke up early Weds, rushed the kids to school and began our seriously long trek to Indianapolis International Airport. We arrived on time and went to check in only to find that his flight was booked as a companion flight meaning they had him scheduled as flying with passengers WITH someone. Who, I do not know.

I spoke to an agent with the airline that happens to rhyme with shmelta, welta, belta.....Aww Eff it,DELTA! Mother effin DELTA!

I'll have you know,I was perfectly pleasant,polite and nice. I explained our situation and in a rude tone she says,"Ma'am, I don't understand the issue,he will be flying with you. Isn't that what you want?"

First of all,I'm not a ma'am. Jerk. Secondly,I had no plans or intention of flying to California and I certainly never booked myself a flight to California,therefore, I wouldn't have booked Otto a flight to accompany me on an imaginary trip. This theory was lost on her. I explained in the most simple terms I could muster that *I* am not booking a trip to California,I never booked one and I did not book a passenger flight for this four and a half pound flat faced hug from Jesus. Once again, she did not understand this concept.

With time ticking away, I asked for her supervisor. Another lady appeared and greeted me as "ma'am"....fuuuuuuudge! Really people!?! I was dressed nice, in nice clothing, amazing boots and make up, I am a young lady, not a ma'am!

I show her my confirmation and she sees that I booked a CARGO flight for a baby pug and all that jazz,yet she is insisting that is not what I am currently booked for. I finally lay it all down for her,"I cannot possibly go to California today. I have to pick my kids up from school. CPS would not he thrilled with me if I left the state woo Willy nilly without first picking my children up at school. Secondly, he was booked CARGO which is far different than a passenger flight." Really,if I was more fluent in sign language,I would've tried that next. As it was,it took all my self control not to flip her the double bird and go out in a blaze of glory. I cancelled his imaginary flight and Delta insisted I pay a cancellation fee. I insisted they kiss my ass and they removed the cancellation fee.

I rebooked his cargo flight for the following Friday, the day after Thanksgiving and enlisted my husband and three hooligan children to help me send Otto to his Mommie with all the love in the world.

After a hearty breakfast, we loaded the car and a freshly bathed Otto into Lucie Lancer and once again drove the twoish hours to Indianapolis Airport. We arrived on time and took woo our paperwork and necessary items inside where we encountered douchebag John. Do you know what Shrek looks like? John is the caucasion Shrek with dirtier teeth and a stick lodged so far up his over sized ass that major surgery would be required to remove it and even then I'm quite sire he would need electroshock therapy to begin to move past major asshole douchebag to regular bastard.

I hand over my paperwork and confirmation and this smug mother f*cker scooter Otto's health certificate and says,"He can't fly. His age is missing. "

I try the nice approach and inquire as to what my options are. He shrugs, "Go get a new certifcate."

I start crying. Lori has already been postponed twice and this is number three. I call my vet, he insists he talk to bastardo John that works for Quantem in Indianapolis Indiana to rectify this situation. John refuses, simply because he is an asshole with a complex. Apparently refusing a flight for a four and a half pound pug makes you a big man. Whatevah. I,with the amazing Dr. Holt on the phone, tell John that I am the breeder. Otto was born in my family room,IN MY LAP! On my Aero pj pants that were forever ruined on September 11,2011.

Our fabulous,caring and exceptional vet offered to meet us halfway with a new health certificate so Otto could make his flight. I ask John if that would be ok and this jabba the hut impersonater points to his swatch watch and says,"You won't make it. You have one minute."

He refuses to talk to the vet,cancels the flight and told me to leave. It *might* have been my colorful and descriptive choice of words towards him....maybe.

I call the inept employees of Delta and explain the situation and the lady ....I use the term loosely in that I have no proof that she has a vagina but she sounded as if it were a remote possibility...anyway, this person isn't as big of an asshole but she too charges a cancellation fee on a flight John (douchebag at Quantem in Indianapolis,Indiana) cancelled. She suggests that I rebook. I suggested she my ass.

I called Continental and the staff was sympathetic,sweet,kind and professional. They booked Otto on their next flight and gave is specific and detailed confirmation instructions. Because we had spent most of the week in the car driving two hours each way to and from the airport for each failed trip, we opted to get a hotel room and spend the night. We went to the mall and the boys ended up meeting their new idol, professional skateboarder Daniel Taylor. He was fantastic with the boys,took photos with them and gave them posters, already this trip was a blessing! We ate out,came back to the hotel and watched Shrek The Final Chapter and Men in Black, spending our last hours with little Otto-mation-station! All three flipped out when Frank the pug showed up on TV!

As the night wound down, we bathed little Otto,clipped his nails and snuggled him until 3:30am when we had to leave to take him to the airport where he effortlessly made his flight and made his way home to California where his Mommie Lori and the fabulous Nonie were awaiting his arrival anxiously! I'm pleased to say that Otto is now and forever Otto Hodgson. We are so lucky to have spent this much time with such a truly spectacular puppy and as heartbroken as we are to have to part with his beautiful face,we are overwhelmed with joy knowing he is with the most loving family in the world!!!

P. S. In case you were wondering, Delta sucks and they can kiss my ass!

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1 comment:

  1. Mimi, are you sure your not related to my Mom? You sound a lot like her, she doesn't suffer fools gladly either.
    So glad Otto is now with Lori, he will be spoiled rotten in no time!